When Life Gives You Lemons
by UZUDAE
Summary: What happens when you love two people the same?" Is the gist of this one. What happens when Ike and Pit decide they love Link as much as they love each other? And what will Snake do when he realizes he may not be as straight as he thought?
1. Chapter 1

When Life Gives You Lemons

Theme 1: Seeking Solace

"You think that I'm suicidal? Honestly? _Me_!? Who in god's name told you that!?" Soren raged, uncrossing his legs and jumping bolt upright on the leather sofa he'd been lounging in. Sitting in an armchair about seven feet across from the sofa, Kirby glanced up from his notes to fully take in the tactician's reaction. Being the only psychiatrist at the mansion, he was quickly getting good at making fast diagnoses.

"Certain individuals have expressed concern that maybe you're not adjusting to life here as quickly as you should be. As your psychiatrist I just want to make sure that you haven't let recent circumstances-" The small pink blob drawled, his high pitched voice chafing the sages ears like Steel wool.

"Who reported me!? I want a name Kirby!" The black haired boy demanded.

"That's Dr. Kirby to you Soren." Kirby corrected.

"Name!!!"

"It's not important who reported you Link."

"Of course it's important I- did you just call me Link?" Soren inquired, his eye's narrowing.

"No. I didn't." The blob lied.

"I knew it! It was Link! That rat bastard!"

"As your roommate he was concerned for your-"

"I'll throttle him! Oh I'm gonna kill him! Reporting me to the administrator. Now I'm stuck sitting here talking to a wad of gum!" The youth vented, either ignoring or not caring about Kirby's presence.

"Obnoxious!? That's a little uncalled for!"

"Whatever Bazooka Joe."

!!! !!! !!!

"How long do you think we have?" Pit panted as Ike tugged the boy's t-shirt over his head. Keeping the cherubs arms in the sleeves, he pulled what remained of the shirt and tucked it behind Pit's chocolate locks. As the fabric stretched his delicate wings popped out of the holes that had been cut in the back of the shirt for them.

"I dunno, ten minutes. Fifteen maybe." Ike offered, silencing his lover with a gentle kiss. As their lips pressed against one another and their tongues danced passionately, Pit began to work his hands across the mercenary's bare chest. Fighting against the shirt which was still around his arms and restricting his movement, he snaked his left hand down until he felt his lovers leather belt. Undoing the metal clasp on the front he pulled the belt loose of the denim straps and threw it to the floor.

Taking the hint Ike slid his trouser off and discarded them as well, now wearing nothing but boxer he rubbed his hardness against the prominent bulge inside of his angel's pants. The cherub had to stifle a gasp as he felt an overwhelming sensuality grip him.

"No more games Ike, I want you now!" Pit declared, ripping his pants and boxers off in one swift motion. Removing the brunettes shirt completely Ike stared lovingly at the angel's bare body, his wings fanned out and splayed over the bed sheets.

"Aren't we eager today?" Ike teased, sticking his index finger in his mouth. Circling the digit with his tongue he made sure it was fully coated before he removed it.

"I've been waiting all day for this." Pit confessed blushing heavily. Gently Ike eased his index finger inside of the boys opening, Pit sighed in relief as he felt it slide all the way in effortlessly. Working his finger around inside his lover for a moment, Ike removed it quickly. Sticking his middle finger inside of his mouth now, he lubricated the as well. Positioning them both before Pit's hole he eased them in feeling more resistance from the cherub's body than he had with just one finger.

The cherub cried out and clasped at the bed sheets, clamping both of his eyes shut. The bluenette was initially worried he'd hurt his angel, until his saw the twitch in the boy's wings. _I love that, that little quiver. And when you see, you know he's enjoying himself. Every time._

"Look's like I hit something." Ike joked, removing both fingers slowly. Letting some saliva trickle down from his lips into his palm, he slicked up his length and sat down on the bed, cross legged. "Come on Pit, sit in my lap. I don't bite"

Crawling on the sheets the brunette made his way over to the mercenary, standing up he positioned himself directly over the man, putting his length directly in his bluenette's face. Sitting down carefully, Pit grabbed Ike's slick penis with one hand, and positioned it at his entrance. Continuing to sit he felt the head work it's way inside of him. As he felt it prod around inside himself he cried out and wrapped his arms around Ike. Losing control of his body the rest of the bluenette's penis was swallowed up by the cherub quickly as he fell into Ike's lap, resting his bare bottom against his lover's muscular thighs.

"Start moving please." Pit whimpered before Ike had a chance to ask if he was alright.

"Sure, okay." Ike answered, slowly thrusting upwards and wrapping his arms abound Pit, being careful of the cherub's wings, which were trembling with excitement.

!!! !!! !!!

"So, what'd you wanna talk about Link?" Snake asked, a curious look on his face. Nervously Link shied away from the mercenary, a gentle blush peaking across his face. The brunette had always known the blonde to be withdrawn and mousy, but there was something different about this. He seemed anxious, almost scared.

"I just wanted to…well, I needed to ask you something." Link choked, hugging both his hands to his chest and keeping his gaze downcast.

"Sure Link, whatever you need. Ask away." The brunette reassured, patting his friend on the shoulder. _Gosh is he shaking? What's got Link so worked up?_

"Well I-I actually- it's something I need to t-tell you, not ask you." The Hylian murmured, his whole body retreating and shrinking before his closest friend.

"Well you can tell me _anything_ Link. That's what friends are for."

"Y'know what? Never mind, I don't think I wanna do this."

"C'mon Link, don't be like that. You know we'll always be friends, no matter what."

"I think that I'm gay Snake!" Link forced himself to exclaim rather loudly, before he had a chance to lose his nerve. Immediately the mercenary recoiled a bit, his eyes widening slightly as what the blonde had yelled sunk in.

"You're what?"

"Gay, I said that I think I'm-"

"Oh no! No, no, no! No way! There is no fucking way that-"

"I knew I shouldn't have said anything! I knew it!" Link cried, tears already welling up in his eyes. "I'm so sorry, that was stupid Snake!" Immediately the Hylian tried to turn and run away, but felt a strong hand gently wrap around his wrist.

Shocked Link gazed back at the bluenette who looked almost as uncomfortable as Link felt. A sour grimace on his face, he refused to look the distraught blonde in the eyes. Finally he broke the horribly awkward silence with a deep sigh.

"Fuck! Fuck me! I…you…Let's go grab a smoothie Link."

!!! !!! !!!

"Snake…I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said anything." Link repeated weakly for what must have been the tenth time. Taking a long sip from the plastic cup in front of him, Snake leaned back on the stool he was sitting on. Gazing absently at the variety of juices and drinks on the shelves directly behind the bar, he paused to think.

"Don't apologize Link, you're the nicest guy I've met here, being a homo won't change that. Now just promise that you won't start crying again like you did outside my room." Snake ordered, patting the boy on the back warmly. Sniffling slightly Link swiped at his eyes and smiled.

"Promise!" He exclaimed, beaming a smile. "You must think I'm gross though."

"Not at all! There's nothing wrong with being… _that_, not at all. You just, well, surprised me was all. I _definitely_ wasn't expecting it!"

"It's…I mean, it's weird though, isn't it? Liking guys?" The Hylian asked, his voice weak with shame.

"Well I won't deny that it's not _normal_, but there's nothing weird about it. I say do whatever makes you happy. And trust me, you're not the first. I mean look at Pit, and Ike, and Marth…not to mention Roy." The brunette paused to think. "Am I the _only _one here who's straight?"

"I know about all of those guys but…they all, well, they all have somebody. Who'd want to be with me?" Link continued, gazing down at the orange peach smoothie slowly melting in front of him. Delicately he leaned down and took a brief sip from the straw, never moving the cup closer to him.

"Oh come on Link, I'm sure there's a guy out there with your name written all over him." Immediately the small blonde stared up from his smoothie at Snake, a glimmer of hope in his eyes "I am _not_ that guy…"

"I figured not." Link sighed, forcing a smile.

"Don't feel bad, Ijust don't swing that way is all. If it's any consolation, I'd definitely do it if I was…y'know…" The two sat in awkward silence for a long while before almost simultaneously breaking out into uncontrollable laughter.

!!! !!! !!!

"Oh god that's so good!" Pit yelped, his whole body going rigid. The couple had decided to reposition themselves, Ike lying flat on the bed, and Pit sitting on top of him, cowgirl style. His eyes clamped tightly shut, he tried to regain control of himself.

"Wanna go back to how we were doing?" Ike asked, studying his lovers flawless body. He loved to take it all in, especially that face Pit always made when he was turned on. A blush on his cheeks, his eyes closed, eyebrows arched up, and his mouth always hanging open slightly. The mercenary couldn't get enough of it.

"No, I wanna do it like this. I'm okay!" The cherub assured. Taking a deep breath he raised himself slightly only to impale himself on the bluenette's massive length again. He felt a warm pleasure snake it's way up his spine and mewled with delight. Sighing he raised and lowered himself again, getting the same result.

Slowly he worked himself into a comfortable pace, all Ike did was lie back on the bed and enjoy the show, not to mention the warmth and tightness of Pit's bottom squeezing around his penis. As the rhythm increased however, he felt himself nearing an inevitable orgasm, and by the fluttering of the angel's snow white wings, the bluenette guessed he was close as well.

Raising his knees and digging his heels into the bed sheets Ike began to thrust his length up into Pit, moving himself in time with the boy. The motion was immediately rewarded with deep moans and cries of pleasure from Pit who lost complete control of himself. Moving his body up and down insanely on top of the mercenary, Pit cried out in pleasure as he felt every nerve in his body light up.

"Oh god! It's like I'm gonna go crazy Ike!" He yelled, planting both hands flat on Ike's stomach for support, he began to rock up and down even faster. Taking a hint the bluenette began to move faster too, grunting with pleasure of his own._ God he's so sexy, I don't think that I can…_

"Oh Pit!" Ike called, feeling himself release deep within the boy, and a powerful climax ripping through his whole body. As the mercenary's toes grabbed and groped at the bits of bed sheet beneath him, the feeling of warm semen inside him sent the brunette over as well.

"Ike!" The cherub screamed as he came hard, shooting cum all over both Ike and himself and shaking from the orgasm. Exhausted, he immediately collapsed on top of Ike's chest, and felt the man's length slowly slide out of him. Panting and breathing harshly. The two couldn't manage to do anything but enjoy the warmth of their bodies against each other as they came down from the ecstasy.

Both were rocked back to reality however by the sound of the toilet flushing in their bathroom. Immediately they covered themselves up with bed sheets.

"Who the fuck's there!?!" Ike exclaimed, shocked.

"What the hell!?" Pit joined, embarrassed. Slowly the bathroom door creaked open to reveal an uncomfortable looking princess Peach.

"I um, well, had to go to the bathroom so I…" The blonde trialed off, her face burning with embarrassment.

"You weren't supposed to be here until…now! Right now, actually!" Ike growled, completely flabbergasted.

"Well I got here early, and the door wasn't locked so I-"

"Why wouldn't you tell us you were here before we started doing stuff!" Pit cried.

"Well I was going to the bathroom and, well, I just started hearing 'things'. And then it really started and I was too embarrassed to do anything." She stammered, burying her face in her hands.

"So then you heard….all of it?" Ike groaned, wincing in shame.

"Yeah…You sounded like you were…having fun, at least." She offered meekly.

!!! !!! !!!

"Link you bastard!" Soren roared bursting into his room. Immediately the poor Hylian winced, shrinking into the cushions of the loveseat facing their television.

"What?" He asked, already knowing why the tactician was mad. As the black haired boy loosened the tie around his neck, he stared at his roommate, absolutely seething.

"You told Kirby I was suicidal!? Are you serious!? Now I have to go to stupid fucking therapy ever Saturday for the next 2 months! God damn it!"

"I'm sorry Soren, you just seemed really depressed is all. You never leave the room, you don't want to talk, I was worried you were unhappy." Link explained, worried his new roommate now thoroughly hated him.

" Well I'm unhappy because…" The youth paused, a pained look on his face. _Because I'll never have Ike._ "I'm unhappy because I have a pain in the ass roommate and everybody in this mansion is obnoxious. Even Ike, who you've all apparently infected with whatever disease is killing off your brain cells!" The teen exploded, causing the Hylian to cower and curl up into a ball on the couch.

"I just wanted to help was all." The blonde retorted, staring at the space on the couch between his feet.

"Well you didn't help, you made things worse, a lot worse!"

"I'm sorry."

"Damn it Link! I mean come on!" Soren exclaimed, still angry, but calming down.

"I told him today." Link muttered offhandedly, still staring down aimlessly. Immediately the raven haired teen softened, sitting on the couch next to the boy, he put a hand on his shoulder.

"How did he take it?" The tactician cooed sympathetically, all his anger melting away. Soren could be rather cold to his roommate sometimes, but secretly he had something of a soft spot for him.

"He took it well, he doesn't hate me…"

"I told you he'd be fine with it. Did you…tell him about the other part?" Soren pried, conscious of how delicate Link was emotionally.

"Well, sort of. I didn't bring it up, but he told me he wasn't interested." The Hylian answered.

"Well, he's still your friend right?"

"Yeah, I think he is…what if he hates me now?"

"Oh he doesn't hate you Link. And I'm proud of you." Soren said, hugging the teen close to him. "It's a relief, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it does feel good."


	2. Chapter 2

**When Life Gives You Lemons**

**Theme 2: Trouble Lurking**

**And when you see it…**

**!!! !!! !!!**

"**I'm telling you Zelda, I can't get it out of my head!" Peach Cried, her forehead pressed firmly against the glass tea table out on Zelda's porch.**

"**What do you mean 'can't get it out'?" The brunette asked, taking a delicate sip of Chamomile tea.**

"**I can't stop thinking about it! Ever since I left it's all I've thought about, over and over. And that was hours ago! I keep just seeing them in my head and they're always… doing… **_**it**_**. I can't help it!"**

"**Seeing it? I thought you only heard them?"**

"**Well I heard them and then-"**

"**And then?"**

"**I…peeked a little." Peach admitted.**

"**Why would you **_**do**_** that Peach!?" **

"**I don't know!? I just…I couldn't resist!"**

"**That's a violation of privacy!! Such a violation! Christ and now you've told me! I'm an accessory to…to…pornography! Or whatever you've gotten me into!" Flustered and absolutely seething, the Hylian tried to preoccupy herself by warming up both of their teacups with fresh Chamomile. All the while cursing herself for being involved in such lowly affairs.**

"**I'm sorry Zellie. I don't know what came over me."**

"**It's…fine Peach." The woman apologized, hiding the fury still boiling in her. "I know you haven't been getting any of **_**that**_** lately." The brunette paused to think. "You could try…relieving yourself." Zelda offered, blushing heavily and forcing more tea down her throat.**

"**Relieve myself how?" Peach asked, staring at the other princess perplexed.**

"**Well…I mean you could use your hands, and then you-"**

"**Are you saying I should go to the bathroom? I already went at Ike and Pit's…" **_**God! How dense is this woman!?**_

"**No…Peach, I'm **_**not **_**saying you should go to the bathroom. I'm saying you should…have you ever…masturbated before?" Immediately the poor blonde's jaw went slack, a look of utter shock on her face. "Well, that's a no if I ever saw one."**

"**I don't…I don't think I'm comfortable with that Zelda." The yellow haired princess stammered, her face draining of color.**

"**Look, I think that you might have to. Is it not getting better?"**

"**No, it's getting worse the more I think about it."**

"**Well then you need to stop thinking about it, and as far as I know, the only way to stop thinking about sex is to have sex. Which you can't do, at least not after your little tiff with Mario." The chocolate haired woman explained, setting down her tea. Anxiously Zelda gazed up at the equally uncomfortable woman sitting across the table, both of them at a loss.**

"**But…that's…isn't that weird?"**

"**Not at all."**

"**Then…you do it too right?" Peach whispered nervously, immediately Zelda panicked, her eye's going wide.**

"**I um…well…it's not really dignified to talk about…" The Hylian began, at a loss to explain herself.**

"**But we're talking about it right now." Peach mumbled in her usual confused and naive manner. Her eyes darting left and right, Zelda leaned across the table and softly spoke into her friend's ear, her face hot with embarrassment.**

"**When's the next time you do your laundry?"**

**!!! !!! !!!**

"**Well Pit, what kind of movie do you wanna watch tonight?" Soren asked, rifling through his near bottomless collection of DVD's. **

"**Um…does that zombie thing we watched have a sequel?" The small cherub asked.**

"**Yeah, it has a sequel."**

"**Could we **_**not**_** watch that movie then?" The boy replied, shivering.**

"**Yeah, of course, we'll watch a comedy. Would you prefer that?"**

"**Or an action movie! But not one that's too serious…"**

"**So like an action **_**comedy**_**?"**

"**Yeah, or maybe a romantic movie." The brunette piped excitedly.**

"**You mean like a romantic **_**comedy**_**? I own some comedy/horror movies too if you want." Soren laughed, sorting all of the movies that weren't funny into a pile as he went through his stash, tucked neatly into a massive cardboard box.**

"**They make those?"**

"**Yep"**

"**I don't get it, how can you have a movie that's scary **_**and **_**funny." **

**Just as Soren was about to answer the angel's question, Ike and Link noisily made there way into the room. Ike talking as loud as ever, with his arm latched firmly around Link's tiny shoulders.**

"**So you're sure that you wanna come to the party with me Link? You could always stay here with Pit and Soren like usual." Ike offered, releasing the mousy blonde from his grip.**

"**No, I wanna go to a party! It sounds like you always have fun." The Hylian responded, smiling sweetly.**

"**Are you sure Link? You remember what happened at the last party you went to…" Soren started.**

"**Oh… that was ages ago."**

"**What happened?" Pit chimed in, cocking his head towards the elf.**

"**I um…well, got a **_**little**_** too drunk. Things got out of hand and well-"**

"**Samus tried to sleep with him." Ike cut in.**

"**No way!?" The cherub exclaimed.**

"**Pretty much." The tactician confirmed.**

"**And he was about to actually do it too." The bluenette chuckled.**

"**Was not!" Link hollered, blushing deep red.**

"**Is that why your shirt was off and you were all over her?" The dark haired sage asked, smirking and folding his arms across his chest.**

"**Sounds like it was quite the night." Pit giggled.**

**!!! !!! !!!**

"**So why don't you go to the parties Soren?" Pit asked innocently as he stared at the movie screen, absolutely transfixed**

"**Eh, they're childish I think."**

"**You've never been to one?"**

"**Nope, never. No interest really." The black haired boy replied. "How do you like the movie?"**

"**It's really good. And you should try sometime, you might like it."**

"**Yeah, maybe if I had someone to go with."**

"**You could go with Ike and Link." The brunette offered.**

"**That's not what I mean. I mean **_**someone**_**, y'know?"**

"**I guess I know what you mean, I don't go because I get really sleepy. So that means Ike never goes with **_**someone**_** either, I guess."**

"**Well you're problem is that you suck down too many Mojito's and you pass out." Soren ribbed, chuckling at a one liner coming from the television.**

**!!! !!! !!!**

"**So walk me through this again. What are you doing?" Link asked, wading his way through the crowd of Brawlers alongside Ike.**

"**I…am… the bouncer; I keep the people away from **_**you**_**."**

"**What if I want to talk to somebody Ike? I have friends you know."**

"**Then they gotta go through **_**me**_**!" The mercenary yelled, slurring his speech a bit. **_**Some bouncer he'll be. I think he might be buzzed already.**_

"**Ike, how many of those beers did you have?"**

"**I had… enough." The bluenette answered sharply.**

"**Is enough more than four?" The small blonde asked nervously.**

"**Look, I drink-" The man hiccupped and stumbled a bit. "I drink **_**all **_**the time. Four is for kids. I'm on, I had, this is…this one is six." The mercenary bellowed, taking another sip from his silver can. **_**Oh god, I'm totally fucked.**_** Link thought to himself.**

**!!! !!! !!!**

"**Oh shit!" Soren cursed, glancing down at the clock on the DVD player. It's digital display reading 10:36. "My clothes have been done for like an hour."**

"**Your clothes?" **

"**Yeah, I put them in the dryer almost 2 hours ago. Then we started the movie and I, well, forgot."**

"**Don't worry; I'm sure that nobody would steal them."**

"**I'm worried about them wrinkling, not getting stolen." Running for the door Soren whipped around to address his guest before leaving. "Sorry, I'll be right back. Keep watching without me, and help yourself to food- the pantry, chips, the fridge, go wild!"**

"**Well, okay. When will you be back?" The brunette asked peeking over the back of the couch at his friend.**

"**Before the movie ends, promise."**

**!!! !!! !!!**

"**Ike, Ike I think you should come down off of the table now!" Link yelled up at the bluenette who was, rather skillfully, imitating a pole dancer on top of one of the oak table in the ballroom. Gathered around him was a crowd of other inebriated brawlers along with other guests of the mansion.**

"**I say let the man dance!" Roy exclaimed over the cheering crowd, patting the blonde on the shoulder. "No reason to not enjoy the show!"**

"**He's making an ass of himself." Marth sighed, taking another sip of his beer. As the Hylian tried to make sense of what the two were saying it sank in that he was a little drunk himself.**

"**Ike, I, you gotta-" Link stifled a hiccup with his hand, and shook his head to clear it. "We gotta go!"**

"**But I'm protecting you!" The mercenary yelled, swinging his dress shirt over his head and suggestively thrusting his pelvis.**

"**No, no, we gotta go! People are looking and you're being stupid." The blonde pleaded, tugging at Ike's jeans.**

"_**You're**_** a stupid!" The bluenette cried, falling off of the table and landing directly on top of Link. "Now look what you made me do!" The man huffed, lying on top of the small teen and not trying to get up.**

"**Ike, you smothering me." Link whimpered, blushing as he felt the man's bare chest pressed up against him.**

"**You're lookin' pretty Link." Ike chuckled, reaching up and running his hands through the boy's blonde hair.**

"**Um I-Ike, what are you doing?" The Hylian asked weakly, unable to fight against the mercenary who had him pinned to the floor. As he felt the bluenette's hands running aimlessly through his hair, the teen felt his heart starting to beat faster. **_**I can't believe this is happening all over again…**_

"**I like you Link…" The mercenary slurred, scooping up the blonde's face. Terrified, the teen could hear the jeering and cheers of the crowd, feeling their eyes upon him. The blonde wanted nothing more than to simply disappear and have the spotlight off of him and his friend, who were both **_**far**_** to drunk**

**Before Link even had a chance to speak up and say anything, Ike pressed his lips firmly against the boy's. Shocked the Hylian's eyes went wide as he felt a tongue slip between his lips and tease his own. Incapable of fighting back the tiny yellow haired teen just let himself melt into the lip lock, purring in his throat and kissing the man back. **_**I really shouldn't do this…**_

**!!! !!! !!!**

"**Can't believe I forgot about the clothes, my shirts are gonna be a mess!" Soren chided as he jogged down the hall towards the laundry room. Already almost to the large chamber, the blackette could hear the rumbling of one of the washing machines through the door. **_**Who the hell else would do laundry the night of a big party? Usually I'm the only one…**_

**Slowly opening the door the mage wondered to himself if maybe someone else had decided to skip the party as well. As soon as the oak door was fully ajar Soren waltzed into the room with a carefree swagger. Staring the machines up and down his eyes immediately locked on the one against the wall about ten feet away from him. **

**Sitting on top of the machine was a striking blonde in an oversized white tee shirt and plaid pajama pants. Rocking her hips against the machine and stifling assorted moans and gasps, Peach appeared to be completely off in her own little world. Absolutely dumbstruck, all the tactician could do was stare in shock at the sight before him. **_**Oh my god! What is she doing!? Why? Why, why, why!? I gotta get out here, I gotta leave! **_

"**Oh Pit!" The woman exclaimed suddenly, her eyes still clamped shut. **_**Pit!?! Oh what the fuck!? This is like some messed up nightmare!**_

**Turning to quietly slip back out the door before he was noticed, the blackette watched in horror as the door, which was barely out of reach, started to close automatically. **_**Don't slam, don't slam, please don't- **_

**Slam!**

**The jarring sound of the door banging against its wooden frame immediately snapped the Peach out of the trance she'd been in. Frantically her eyes scanned the room, her orbs falling on Soren, who was standing awkwardly in the middle of the chamber. Trying to regain control of herself, the blonde slid herself off of the still rumbling machine and feigned nonchalance while trying to keep from quivering.**

"**He-hey Peach, I was just well…I left some stuff in the dryer." The sage choked, his entire face going flush.**

"**Oh! Yeah, sure. I was just uh, washing some stuff too…" The woman replied, her face burning deep red.**

"**Yeah, just sort of forgot my things…in the dryer." Mumbling more nonsense about his clothes and dryers, the blackette slowly slunk his way directly past the princess and towards the other white machines.**

"**Wouldn't want them to wrinkle." Peach muttered.**

"**Yeah, that's why I came down here, to the um, the laundry room. Wrinkles…"**

"**Wrinkles." The blonde agreed, trying to convince herself Soren hadn't seen **_**anything**_**.**

"**Well, I'll be going now then. Good luck with your…the things you're washing."**

"**Thanks, good luck with your… wrinkles." Peach whimpered. The poor woman now almost positive the small tactician had seen something.**

_**She doesn't know you saw that, she doesn't know at all. Don't worry Soren; she doesn't know you saw her mastub- getting o- doing stuff…**_

**Hastily the blackette shuffled his way out of the room without so much as another gesture towards the princess.**

**!!! !!! !!!**

"**Ike, you sit down now! That's an- oh wow excuse me!" Link coughed, holding back a burp and covering his mouth. "Those are orders, sir!"**

"**You can't tell me what to do." Ike replied, falling face down on the bed.**

"**You're supposed to be protecting me, so you have to **_**listen**_**!" **

"**In a minute…can I take my shirt off again?"**

"**No, no you can't. Don't do that man."**

"**I wanna!" Ike yelled, his voice muffled by the bed sheets.**

"**No, don't do it." The blonde pleaded with the older mercenary. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom now." The Hylian stated, lurching over to Ike and Pit's built in lavatory. **_**So…hot. **_**The yellow haired teen thought to himself. **_**Ike's way to hot…**_

**Closing the bathroom door behind himself, Link sat down on the toilet seat without bothering to lift up the lid at all. Unzipping his black skinny jeans the teen hurriedly slid them down past his knee's along with his boxers, then kicking them off and discarding them entirely. Anxiously the blonde stared down at his prominent erection while listening to the muffled noise coming from the other room. **_**I need it right now, I can't take it! He's too hot!**_

**Grabbing his length the Hylian slowly pumped it with his hand, anxiously glancing up at the door every few moments to be sure nobody was watching. After a while, and as his pleasure began to mount a bit, the boy leaned back on the porcelain seat and sighed, stroking his length more vigorously now. Suppressing whimpers and panting slightly, Link clamped his eyes shut as a gentle pink hue crept over his face.**

"**You naughty little thing you!" The blonde heard Ike taunt from somewhere in the room. Terrified the small Hylian flung his eyes open to see the bluenette leaning against the doorframe, a grin on his face and his eyes ablaze with passion.**

"**Ike, what are- you should have knocked!" Link cried, covering himself up, hot tears of shame already building up in his eyes.**

"**I think I know what you need." The man started, grabbing the blonde boy by the wrist and tugging him out of the bathroom. "I need it too." With one quick motion the mercenary shoved the Hylian forward until he made contact with the soft bed, falling face down on it.**

"**Ike, no, we c-can't." The yellow haired teen started, his hardness rubbing against the sheets, and his rear up in the air slightly. "What about Pit?"**

"**I love Pit." Ike laughed, walking over to the bed and stroking the boy's bare backside. "But I love you too, Link."**

"**No this is wrong Ike, I can't let y-" The Hylian cut himself of with a gasp as he felt one of the bluenette's fingers stroke his entrance.**

"**What's the matter? There's nothing wrong with a little fun." The man cooed into Link's ear, leaning over him and nibbling the blonde's earlobe.**

"**But wh-what about P-Pit?" **

"**Pit doesn't mind." **

"**How do you kno- what are you d-doing?" Link asked as the blue haired mercenary climbed up onto the bed and, grabbing both of the slender blonde's legs, slid him completely onto the mattress. **

"**Trust me, you trust me right?" Ike asked, tilting the teen's head around and kissing him passionately from behind. Working his own clothes off, the mercenary stared lovingly at Link as he discarded his entire garb.**

"**I trust you Ike but, I mean…" Link murmured almost silently, unsure what to say to the man.**

"**Then let me make sex to you." Ike answered gently, pulling his partner's shirt over his head.**

"**It's…my first time Ike." The blonde confessed, his face turning hot all over again.**

"**I'll be super duper gentle then." The mercenary reassured, rubbing one of the boy's pale cheeks with his hand while lubricating himself with the other. "Here, get on your hands and knee's for me Link."**

"**L-like this?" The Hylian asked, getting onto his knees and propping himself up with his elbows. Nervously Link peeked over his shoulder and watched Ike position his considerable length in front of his hole.**

"**That's good, here we go." The bluenette said softly as he grabbed both the blonde's cheeks and started to ease himself in. Gasping and wiggling around against his new lover, Link whimpered as he felt a slight pain from his backside accompanied by pressure. "Does that hurt?" Ike asked worriedly as he let the rest of his length slide in.**

"**It hu-hurts a bit, Ike!" Link stuttered, biting his bottom lip and clamping his eyes shut.**

"**Don't worry; it'll start to feel really good in a moment." With that the mercenary leaned over his lover and wrapped his arms around the teen's stomach. Slowly he slid himself out and then lightly pressed back in, the action rewarded with a gasp from the boy beneath him.**

**Pulling himself in and out, the bluenette slowly began to jab into his partner at a uniform speed. Clutching the sheets and moaning uncontrollably, Link arching his back and cried out as he felt his pain slowly melt away into unimaginable pleasure. Trembling and shaking beneath Ike's muscular frame all the boy could do was relax and enjoy the feeling of the mercenary's large member rocking inside him.**

"**Nnn, you're so tight Link." Ike groaned, increasing his speed and pulling the boy's rear towards him with each thrust. Feeling the petite blonde squeezing around his whole penis, the bluenette marveled at the warmth and softness.**

"**Ike y-you feel so good in me!" The teen panted, mewling with pleasure as he felt his lover's cock strike his prostate with each prodding movement. **

**The strength leaving his arms, the blonde let the limbs go slack and collapsed with his face and chest pressed into the bed sheets. Completely at the mercy of the large man making love to him, all the Hylian could do was moan and whimper as he felt his pleasure mounting.**

"**Link, I'm gonna cum soon…is inside you okay?" Ike gasped, ramming into the blonde as fast as he could. Briefly Link's sky blue eye's shot open, looking up innocently at his partner's own azure eyes. Gasping the boy squeezed the sheets tightly with both hands**

"**Y-yeah…yeah!" He gasped, on the verge of a climax himself. Pressing against the delicate yellow haired teen one last time, Ike forced Link onto his stomach and gripped the boy's abdomen tightly as he came. Grunting and moaning the bluenette jerked as he shot his cum deep inside of his new lover. "S-so much…" The Hylian sighed as he felt warmth filling him inside.**

**Panting and still coming down from his ecstasy, the mercenary pulled himself out of his partner and flipped his tiny body over on the bed. Eagerly the man took as much of the blonde's modest length as he could into his mouth. Mewling with his mouth fully engaged by Link's member, Ike furiously began to bob up and down.**

"**W-wait Ike! S-stop if you do that I'll-" Before the boy had a chance to finish he cried out and arched his back, feeling an orgasm tear through his body. Yelping and flinching, the feeble blonde visibly shook as he felt his seed pour out into the bluenette's mouth.**

**Greedily the mercenary swallowed all of Link's seed, smiling contently at the teen that was still paralyzed by his afterglow and breathing harshly. Crawling up next to the Hylian's petite frame, Ike snuggled against him and pulled the blonde into a strong, but warm embrace.**

"**Thank you Link…" The Crimean whispered into his new lover's ear. "I l-love you." Overjoyed all the Hylian could do was allow himself to be held by the larger man, his eyes already welling up again.**

"**I love you too!" He beamed, pressing his cheek to the bluenette's chest.**


	3. Chapter 3

When Life Gives You Lemons

Theme 3: That Gum You Like

Is going to come back in style…

!!! !!! !!!

Discarding the last of his dirty clothes from the other night, Pit sighed happily as he slid his underwear off, leaving himself fully nude. _Nothing beats the feeling of climbing out of your dirty clothes._ Slowly walking across his and Ike's bedroom, the small cherub gave his lover and Link, snuggled against each other nude, one last look before making his way into the bathroom.

_Looks like they had a wonderful time…_ The brunette thought, smiling to himself

!!! !!! !!!

"Zelda, where's that white box with the blue _Insperitech_ logo on it?" Peach called from the storage room attached to the mansion's small office space.

Tossing assorted empty boxes and generally making a mess of the storage room's once organized racks, the blonde's search efforts were creating a disaister. Flinging an assortment of debris into Dr. Mario's unoccupied office, the room adjacent to the storage pace, the hunt continued.

Receiving no answer from the brunette, the blonde glanced over her shoulder, only to see a closed glass door reading _Zelda- Executive Resident Assistant. _

"Zelda!" Peach yelled, storming over to the glass door. "Zelda!!"

Throwing open the door to the Hylian's room, Peach glared down at the brown haired woman, whose face was pressed to her desk. Snoring soundly, and with headphones over both of her pointed ears, was sleeping peacefully.

"Zelda!!!" The blonde screeched, yanking Zelda's earphones off and jolting the brunette awake.

"Mmmmnnnghh! What!?" Zelda grumbled, burying her face in her arms and uselessly trying to fall back asleep.

"Where is the white box that was in the storage closet? The one with the blue logo?"

"What…what logo?"

"The _Inspiritech_ one."

"Oh, uhm…jeez I…I moved it." The Hylian began, stifling a yawn and rubbing her sleepy eyes. "I moved it to my room."

"Why?"

"The box was collecting dust, those things are expensive. I don't want hundreds of dollars of electronics gathering dust in the closet."

"Well alright, can I borrow one?" Peach asked innocently, flashing the best puppy dog eyes that she could.

"God, yes, whatever! What are you gonna do with it?" Zelda exclaimed, grumpy and still waking up.

"I was just gonna put it in my room…y'know, in case."

"Fine, yeah. One though, _one!_"

"Fantastic, one it is." The blonde bubbled.

!!! !!! !!!

Crossing his legs uncomfortably, Soren tried for a moment to get comfortable, reclining back on the psychiatrist's couch in Kirby's office. Staring up at the ceiling and twiddling his thumbs for a few moments, the ebony haired teen got uncomfortable again.

Next the blackette experimented with lying on his side, achieving the same displeasing feeling of discomfort. Finally giving up, the small tactician simply sat on his rear, facing the pink blob.

"Comfortable?" Kirby asked warmly, placing a pair of ridiculous looking spectacles over his eyes.

"Why can't you just put a normal chair in here? Like, one for 'normal' people." The red eyed teen shot, glaring at his doctor.

"Is that what you are Soren? Are you just a 'normal' person?"

"Oh don't make this about that!"

"About what? About the fact that you're branded?" The blob shot back, staring intently at the ebony haired spell caster. Unable to respond, but overflowing with rage, the boy just cast his gaze to the side, averting his eyes. "You've yet to make an attempt to befriend anybody at the mansion from the sounds of it. So maybe this is about that."

"I've got plenty of friends!"

"Name them for me then, if you please?" Kirby asked gently, in his usual squeaky voice.

"I have Ike."

"Yes, yes I know. But how about friends you didn't have before you got here."

"I…um…Link."

"He's your roommate, that doesn't count either."

"Pit, I have Pit!" Soren countered, a tinge of triumph in the response.

"So you have one friend, and that is, if anything a stretch. He's your best friend's boyfriend, so meeting him was inevitable."

"Fuck you."

"Who are you mad at Soren? Me for saying it? I just said what I'm sure you've been thinking for a while now."The pink ball elaborated, the same dull, comforting sound to his voice.

"So what? Want me to go give every brawler a nice big bear hug? Become their best friend? Maybe suck their dick? Is that what you want Kirby? Want me to suck every brawler's dick!?!"

"I um…I had something milder in mind actually Soren…" Kirby replied, aghast at the blackette's overreaction.

"Y'know what? How about we start right now you pink little bastard!? I'll suck your god damn dick right now!"

!!! !!! !!!

Blinking his ocean blue eyes open, Link looked up immediately at the powerful man wrapped gently around him. Smiling to himself, the blonde nestled himself further into Ike's embrace. Feeling the blunette stir as he repositioned himself, the Hylian giggled softly under his breath, draping his arms around the mercenary's shoulders.

"Ahh…peace." Link whispered, kissing the man on the jaw. "So this is what it's like to be in a couple…peaceful."

Lingering for a bit longer in the blue haired man's embrace, the Hylian thought on last night. _Wow…we were both pretty drunk though. Can't believe we let it get so out of hand. But who cares? Now we're a couple…_

_Couple?_

"Shit Ike!!" The blonde suddenly screamed, flinging the mercenary off himself so fast that the Crimean rolled off of the bed and onto the floor. Thudding against the thin carpeting of the room, Ike yelped as his body hit the floor, awakening instantly.

"Damn Pit! What!?"

"Ike you- it…it's me!" Link whimpered.

"Oh shit…" Ike muttered under his breath, some of the finer points of last night coming back to him. "This is bad."

"What'll we do Ike!? I can't believe I did that!"

"Calm down, calm down! Pit doesn't know and…crap! Okay yeah, Pit doesn't know."

"I've ruined it! I blew your whole relationship! You guys loved each other and I blew it." The blonde sobbed, pressing his face into a pillow. Stumbling over to the bed and fighting back the hangover he could feel creeping up on him, the bluenette sat down on the mattress next to the teen.

"You didn't ruin anything, Last night I took advantage of you. So shut up and stop talking like that."

"I should have stopped you, I could have stopped you…"

"No, you were just as drunk as me. You could barely even talk, forget fighting my stupid ass off."

"But what do we do?"

"Well…for starters, we don't tell Pit." The mercenary replied, half an ordering, half pleading.

"Y-yeah, and we can't ever…" Link started, looking away. _I can't be with you_.

Pulling Link in close, Ike hugged the boy, smoothing down his blonde hair. Cradling his tiny body, the man beat himself up for his mistake. _What have you done Ike? He's so fragile, I can't believe what I did…_

"Link I'm so sorry, I can't believe I'd do that."

Pushing the man off of him, Link crawled away from the man, covering himself up with the bed sheets. Turning and looking at the bluenette, the little Hylian looked at him, taking in the mix of hurt and guilt on his face.

"Don't…we can't do stuff like that anymore."

"But-"

"No buts! Now go take a shower." _I can't believe I lost my virginity, and he doesn't even love me…_ "Then let's go get some breakfast."

"Alright…you're sure that you're okay though?"

"Go! Shower!" The blonde ordered, forcing a smile.

Leaving for the bathroom, Ike walked off and left Link sitting naked on the bed. Hugging the pillow close to his chest, the boy stared down sadly, ashamed of himself. Staring over at the closet, he looked at his small pile of clothes, a tiny blue t-shirt resting on top of his larger yellow one.

"Pit's shirt? Was Pit…" The Hylian felt a lump catch in the back of his throat. "Was Pit here!?"

--- --- ---

Walking down the halls of the mansion, Snake loudly hummed the tune from a show he'd seen last night, taking in the crisp feeling of summer in the air. Doing his best to imitate the sounds of a whiny, slow sax tune, the mercenary traveled through the empty hall. The song had come from some strange scene which had taken place in a red room.

Sitting in the room, the main character of the show (or what Snake judged to be the main character) was talking with a midget in a suit, and a cute little number in a black dress. Something had been off though, the woman and the midget's voices were all…weird. If he had to guess, the brunette would say they had been back masked.

Suddenly, just when he thought the scene couldn't get any stranger, the midget got up and started dancing. Flashes of light illuminated the whole scene, and then the slow, whiny saxophone started playing.

"Real catchy tune…" Snake mumbled to himself, still humming the song softly. Walking past Kirby's office, the brunette was almost mowed down as the door was abruptly flung open, spilling out a furious tactician. Storming out of the room, the blackette turned his glare back into the blob's office.

"I think that we're done for the day Kirby." The teen growled.

"Soren, please come back in here. Breakthroughs are never easy to-"

"Oh no, I think that we're done for the day, you little sicko!"

"Soren please, you know I didn't mean it like-"

"Like what?"

"I feel like you might have put some words in my mouth Soren!"

"We're done Kirby, we're done." With that the tactician summoned a powerful gust of wind, slamming the oak door shut. Turning to walk off, Soren almost walked headlong into Snake, who was standing in front of him, aghast. "What are you looking at?"

"Oh I wasn't um…looking." The brown haired man mumbled awkwardly.

"Would you mind getting out of my way?" Trying to walk past the mercenary, Soren stopped and looked at the brunette, who was now grinning like an idiot. "What? What do you want?"

"Smoothie?"

!!! !!! !!!

Looking skittishly down the hall, Peach turned her attention to the door in front of her. Sliding her master key into the lock, the woman gave one last furtive look down the halls before unlocking the door and slipping into the room.

Quickly closing the door behind her, the blonde scanned the room quickly, looking for an opportune spot. Gazing across from the bed, a vent mounted high on the wall caught her attention. Moving over too it the woman pulled out a pocket screwdriver and set to unscrewing the metal grate.

"This will make a perfect hiding place." The princess thought to herself as she loosened the last screw. Pulling the shaft cover off of the wall, she fished around in her pocket for the tiny plastic cylinder. Placing it down on inside the metal crevice, she stopped for a moment, thinking.

"Wait…this won't work. I can't plug it in with-" Jerked from her musing by the sound of the doorknob turning, Peach jumped and turned to the door, her heart skipping a beat. The knob fully turned, the door swung open less than half an inch before the bolt thudded against the wooden frame. _Thank god! Thank god thank god thank god!!!_

Bolting across the room, the woman jumped into the closet and frantically pulled the doors shut, sealing her inside. Unlocking the door with his key, Pit stepped into his room and took a deep breath of air.

"Ike locked the room? Wow…I don't think he's ever done that." The little cherub giggled, exhaling a deep breath and gently shutting the door. "Now, to get comfortable."

Stripping off all of his clothes, Pit walked across the room and plopped down on the bed, grabbing a tome off of the nightstand. Studying the boy's naked body through the sliver between the armoire's doors, the woman felt a blush creeping over her cheeks. Looking down at her hands, she studied the metal grate curiously before remembering her situation.

_The vent!!_

Looking over at the vent, she almost gasped at the noticeable hole in the wall where the grate had been.

_I left the vent wide open!!_

!!! !!! !!!

Sitting and eating his pancakes, Ike studied Link, who was regarding his breakfast almost mournfully.

"Link…I still am…really god damn sorry."

"Its fine Ike, really." The boy replied softly.

"No its not alright, I shouldn't have! I should have stopped myself!"

"Will you just stop harping on it!?" Link exploded, putting his spoon down on his tray. Sitting in awkward silence, the two looked down at their plates, unsure what to say.

"Link I-"

"I left my belt up in your room." The blonde grumbled sullenly, cutting the bluenette off. "I'm gonna go get it. I'll be right back."'

Walking off, the Hylian left Ike to sit and stare at his breakfast alone. Poking at his pancakes for a bit and moping, the man finally gave up and tossed his silverware down, grinding the heels of his hands into his eyes.

"Fuck!"

!!! !!! !!!

Knocking a few times on Ike and Pit's door, Link waited for a reply, which he didn't receive. Shrugging he turned the knob and to his relief, the door swung open. _Good, nobody locked it._ Walking in, the small blonde was floored by the sight of Pit lounging naked in the bed, casually flipping through an aged looking tome, the books intricate green cover faded and worn.

Getting a good look at the brunette's amazing body, and adequate manhood, Link quickly threw his hands over his eye's and turned away, his face exploding into bright red.

"Pit, oh man!! Sorry, sorry! I'm sorry!"

"Oh, Link…" Pit replied, a grin spreading across his face. "What brings you here?"

"Oh I um…uh, was just…" The Hylian began, slowly inching his way towards the door, his eyes still averted. _Does he know?_

"Don't be shy Link, why are you here?"

"I left my…I left my belt."

"And what was your belt doing in our room?" The angel asked impishly, quietly climbing off of the bed. Walking over towards Link slowly, the cherub giggled to himself triumphantly.

"You know about me and Ike, don't you?" Link whimpered.

"Well if I didn't, I know now don't I?

"Pit I'm really sorr-" The blonde tried to apologize before feeling one of Pit's hands reach up from behind him, covering his mouth.

"Hush."

Gingerly removing the hand, Link slowly turned around and looked down at the boy, a cocky smile spread across Pit's face.

"But aren't you mad?"

"No, I'm not mad. You thought I wouldn't find out?"

"Well it's just that I was really drunk and Ike was too and we-"

"He's my lover Link, our hearts are merged. The way he felt last night about you…I knew he was going to sleep with you before he did."

"I'm so sorry Pit."

"Why? I let him, didn't I?" The brunette shot back, grabbing at Link's pants and slowly sliding them down. Blushing, the blonde didn't fight back as the boy disrobed him, mostly out of surprise.

"I don't understand, why aren't you mad?"

"Because our hearts are one. All those feelings he has for you, ones he's had since before he was mine, I feel them too." Pit cooed, leaning in and gently kissing the blonde. Unsure, Link leaned into the kiss, allowing the boy's petal soft lips to melt into his own.

Backing away, the cherub rubbed the bulge in Link's underwear, a gently blush creeping across his face. Tracing his finger over the outline of the Hylian's erection, the boy was delighted as the bulge jumped slightly.

"I'm slightly insulted though."

"Wh-why?" Link whimpered, now pulling his shirt off eagerly. Surprised at his own actions, the teen found himself drawn to the naked angel, and unnaturally comfortable.

"I wish you'd have let me join you two." Pit answered, hooking his finger in the blonde's underwear and sliding it down. Springing out from Link's groin, the blonde immediately moved his hands down to cover up his hard penis.

"I don't know about this Pit…"

"What's the matter?" The brunette asked, grabbing both of Link's wrists and moving his hands out of the way. "Don't you want me?" Leaning in closer, the angel rubbed his chest and erection against the blonde's own, earning a stifled moan from his partner.

"I…I want you."

"Then follow me." Pit whispered. Taking the teen's hand in his own, the boy walked over to the bed and sat down, pulling Link up on top of him.

Cradling the slightly taller boy, the angel reached down and wrapped his hand around Link's length. Gently stroking the blonde's straining erection, the brunette was rewarded with mewls and sighs of satisfaction, from the teen. Stroking a bit more vigorously, the angel could feel Link squirming and his breathing growing harsher.

"Want to do something even more fun?" The cherub inquired, giggling and gently playing with Link's manhood. Nodding weakly, Link felt the boy release his erection. Climbing on top of the blonde, positioning his face in front of the Hylian's erection, Pit leaned down and lightly licked the tip, tasting a bit of sweet pre-cum.

"Pit!" Link gasped. Grabbing the angel's hips, the blonde pulled himself up and took the tip of the boy's own erection into his mouth, gently swirling his tongue around it. _I hope that I'm doing this right…I've never really done this…before._

Whimpering himself, Pit stroked the base of Link's modest erection and arched his back a bit.

"So good!" The brunette exclaimed before plunging down on the length in front of his face, taking in almost all of it. His moans now stifled by the penis in his mouth, Pit clenched his eyes shut and slowly bobbed.

"Nnnhhh!" Link mumbled, his own mouth engaged. Trying to remember how Ike had done it the previous night, the boy went down further on Pit. Feeling the blonde's warm mouth enshrouding his erection, the cherub wiggled his hips a bit and groaned. Loosening the back of his throat, the brunette took even more of the Hylian's length, making it disappear completely into his mouth.

Bobbing even faster on his partner, the angel could feel Link picking up his speed as well, mirroring his movements. Trying to take even more of Pit's length into his mouth, the inexperienced blonde could feel himself coming even closer to an orgasm.

Deep throating Link's erection, the brunette gently tickled and caressed all of the boy's penis, expertly tickling it. Overwhelmed by the amazing feeling of Link's mouth on his own member, the angel slowly began to thrust down into the blonde's eager lips

"Mmmhhmmm…" Pit mewled, sucking on the teen's length and thrusting a bit faster.

Feeling the cherub forcing his length in and out of his mouth, Link tried his best to take all of the length. Feeling the head of the copper haired boy's erection tickling the back of his throat with each thrust, the blonde whimpered, breathing heavily through his nose.

Unable to stop himself, the blonde arched his back and gripped the sheets, shooting into his partner's warm mouth. Moaning, the angel felt the boy's warm seed trickling down his throat. Close himself, the angel began thrusting in and out of Link's mouth.

Swallowing all of the Hylian's cum, Pit pulled his mouth off of the boy's member and moaned.

"Ahhh!! Link I'm close!!"

"Mmm!!" The blonde whined weakly, barely able to take angel's length. Accepting a few more thrusts, the boy whimpered as he felt the cherub thrust down and hold his length in.

"Cumming!! I'm cumming Link!!!" Pit yelped, feeling a powerful orgasm shoot through his body.

"Mmmmfff!!"

Shooting his seed into the teen's awaiting mouth, the brunette trembled with each shot, moaning loudly. His body's contractions slowing down, the boy hoisted his length out of the blonde's mouth and rolled off of him. Panting, the copper haired angel crawled over and wrapped his arms around Link, who's afterglow was still rendering him immobile.

!!! !!! !!!

"Why would you bring me here?" Soren muttered, refusing to touch his smoothie.

"What do you mean? Snake asked, taking a long sip from his cup.

"Why are we here…getting 'smoothies'?"

"Well you looked upset, I figured this would help."

"I am _not _upset."

"Then why aren't you touching your drink?" The brunette replied, studying the small spell caster for a moment.

"I've never…" The blackette began awkwardly. "I've never had a 'smoothie' before."

"Well its not hard to drink kid. And it's your first time, so I'm sure the smoothie will be very gentle."

"yeah…okay." Soren finally agreed, taking a small sip from his orange smoothie. Gulping down the cold treat, the boy forced back a slight smile.

"Good right?"

"I suppose it is good." The sage agreed, leaning down to take another long sip.

"Oh, now Soren, be careful when you drink that, you don't-"

"Ahh! Ow!" The boy cried, clutching his head.

"Want brain freeze." The mercenary finished, chuckling a bit.

"How do I…make it stop?"

"Stick out your tongue."

"Aick gish?" The raven haired Crimean inquired, his face flushing a bit as he stuck out his tongue.

"Yeah...yeah, just like that. Better right?" The man chuckled, finding himself blushing a bit as well. _What a fun guy. It's a shame he doesn't talk to anybody._

"Yes, that did help."

"Good, I'm glad. So now you know-"

"To drink it slowly?

"Yeah, to drink it slowly."

"Well thank you." Soren answered, smiling faintly. Swirling his straw around in his drink, the boy studied all of Snake's features, shamelessly scanning over the man with his eyes.

"Don't mention it."

"I think I'll go get something to eat, be right back."

"Okay then." The mercenary agreed. Watching the boy as he trotted to the counter, Snake found it was his turn to ogle over Soren. His eyes focusing in on the boy's perfectly formed rear and silky hair.

Sighing to himself, the brunette forced himself to take a long sip of his drink. Thinking to himself, he finally sighed and sat back in the booth.

"I should tell him soon." The man said to himself, thinking aloud. "It can't wait.

Turning to the counter, the man stole one last glance at the sage before averting his eyes again. Lifting up one of his hands, the man snapped his fingers a few times, timing his snaps with the rhythm of the tune he'd been humming earlier.

Snapping a few more time, the mercenary contemplated whether to confess to Soren or not.

"No, it _can_ wait."

!!! !!! !!!

Curled up against Link, Pit delicately draped his arm around the teen's midsection and drew him in, hugging the Hylian close. Hugging Pit's tiny frame as well, Link smiled sweetly and leaned in, kissing the cherub gently on the lips.

"Was I…was I good?" The blonde asked, blushing a bit.

"You were really good. I can't believe that was your first time."

"How did you know?"

"An angel has to have some secrets." Pit teased, rubbing Link's chest gently. "I'll tell you another time.

"What does this…what does this mean Pit?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you do that?" The Hylian shot back.

"Because you have a special place in Ike's heart." The brunette sighed, resting his copper haired head on Link's chest. "And you enjoyed it too I bet."

"Yeah, I did. But what does this make us? You and me?"

"It makes us a couple, but…"

"But?" Link answered, bewildered.

"Don't tell Ike."


	4. Chapter 4

When Life Gives You Lemons

Theme 4: Silent But Deadly

An Awkward Chapter…

"It doesn't take forty minutes to get a belt…" Ike grumbled to himself as he trudged aimlessly through the halls of Smash Mansion. His eyes cast downward at his shoes. As they gently clapped on the marble floors, he let out yet another exasperated sigh and stopped briefly.

"He'd better not be avoiding me! I swear to _god_ if He's avoiding me!" The man growled, clenching his fist gently. Then he released. "I really hope he's not avoiding me…"

! ! !

"I should probably get going, maybe try to find Ike." Link explained to Pit. Looping his belt through the straps along the waist of his shorts, he glanced over at the small cherub who was still reclining naked in the bed. "It doesn't take forty minutes to get a belt."

"Yeah, you're probably right; you should also tell Ike there still aren't any hard feelings about last night."

"What do you mean?"

"He's very upset, he thinks he's hurt you and he _still_ feels guilty."

"So you always know what he's thinking?"

"No it doesn't work that way. I can feel how he feels and feel his desires. For the most part though I can guess what he's up to." Pit explained, giggling a little. "He masturbates a real lot."

"Oh…w-wow…" Link stammered, blushing at the boy's bluntness.

"Yeah, he's like a rabbit that guy. And he's _usually_ thinking of me when he does it, which is flattering."

"It doesn't…go…both ways right?"

"Why?"

"Well if this was a secret-"

"He can't tell what I'm feeling, no. So as long as you behave it's still our secret."

"I'll try my best."

"And it was really good Link. The angel giggled.

"Thank you."

"You're hungry aren't you? We should go get some breakfast."

"How can you-"

"I read minds, remember?" Pit explained, tapping the side of his head and grinning.

"So that means we…our hearts have…combined, or something?"

"They already were Link, I just couldn't tell you. Now let's go."

Taking Link's hand Pit opened the door and scanned the hallways quickly, breathing a minute sigh the boy turned and smiled at the blonde.

"All clear Link, we're in the clear."

As the Hylian shut the door behind himself and his new lover neither of them heard the slight rattling coming from Ike and Pits closet.

! ! !

Peach was holding her gown up to about shin level.

Running down the hallways of Smash mansion it was the most the woman could do to avoid tripping over it. Still clutching the metal vent cover in her hands, and pressing it to her chest, the distraught blonde flew down the corridor as fast as she could.

Galloping towards the finances department the woman nearly shoulder checked Ike as she passed him. _No not him! Not now!_

"Oh hey…Peach, you okay?"

"Just Peachy Ike!" The woman nearly screamed, panting in between her words.

"You look kind of…exhausted." The mercenary noted, glancing past the blonde down the hallway, perplexed. Looking down at the vent cover in the woman's the bluenette's confusion only grew.

"Yeah um I just was…going to work out in my room! So I thought I'd get my heart beat up on the way."

"What's the vent for?"

"This vent is…" The woman struggled, fighting to compose a satisfactory lie. "This is defective. Yeah, so I'm just going to bring it to Zelda on my way back and I'll see if we can…get a replacement."

"Okay then, you just be careful."

"Yeah, I'll be…careful…" Peach started, watching as the bluenette turned and started unsurely back down the hall towards his bedroom. "See you-"The blonde started before turning and bolting into the financial department.

"Zelda! Zelda!" The blonde shrieked, running past a few employees who looked on from their cubicles. "Zelda it's important! I have something I really need to tell you!"

Bursting into the brunette's office, the woman slammed the door behind her and gazed down at her employer's desk. The fellow princess was reclined back in the plush red chair across from her desk, her head tilted back.

A blush across the woman's serene sleeping face, Zelda quietly mumbled something to herself that Peach couldn't quite understand. In a flustered panic the blonde ran right up to the woman and grabbed her hair. Giving the woman's chocolate locks a hearty tug Zelda's face came slowly crashing into the desk with a satisfying thud.

"Kahh! Oh, ow! What the- why!" Zelda yelped, clutching her forehead and shaking herself wide awake.

"It's important!" Peach squealed again, running to the office door and fumbling to lock it.

"It had better fucking _be_ important." The brunette grumbled.

"Okay I have to tell you something, but first I have to tell you a thing to…._explain_ the something."

"Peach I already have a headache, is this going to give me an even worse one?" The woman seethed, already bracing for the worst possible news.

"It umm…it might give you a bigger headache Zelda…"

"Fine, tell me, what happened, what did you do?"

"Remember the thing I borrowed?"

"The security camera? The _Inspiritech_ security camera?" Zelda did not like where this was going already.

"Yeah…the Inspiritech one."

"Where is it Peach? Where did you put _my _camera?"

! ! !

"So what was the point of bringing me to get a 'smoothie'?" Soren asked Snake, spinning in his seat a little.

"What's the matter? Don't like smoothie's kid?"

"No that…I didn't mean that. I just wondered why?"

"Why? You seemed a little upset. So I just figured that would cheer you up."

"And do you always bring people for smoothies when their upset?" Soren asked, a slight hint of sarcasm in his tone. "That's where you took Link when he told you he was gay, right?"

"Oh he told you about that?"

"He's my roommate, I knew before you did."

"Really?" The brunette replied, genuinely a surprised. Usually Link told him everything, and first too.

"Well he didn't tell me, I just sort of knew. Gay people are like that, they can just sort of _tell_ when someone else is-"

"Gay?"

"Exactly."

"I mean you're gay? You, Soren, are gay?" Snake clarified, turning back around at his companion.

"Yeah, I thought you knew this." The teen sighed, blushing a little. "Ever since that whole 'fag hair' thing with Samus."

"Oh…yeah. I dunno, I guess I just thought that whole thing was a joke."

"Yeah it was, she didn't mean anything by it. But after that I told her I was gay, then told her to tell everyone."

"That was very brave of you kid."

"Not really, it was the quickest way for everyone to know. And it helped avoid any future complications."

"You didn't even think twice, did you?" The brunette chuckled at this remark, grinning at the small ebony haired youth. "So 'fag hair' does have some balls after all?"

"I um…I suppose so."

"Heh you're _always _supposing Soren. Don't you ever just relax and stop being proper about things?" Snake cooed, unable to stop himself from leaning towards the spell caster.

"I can't afford to stop being proper. I'm advisor to…to" The sage turned to see the mercenaries face inching closer to his own. "Um, Snake what are you-"

Reaching out gently the man grabbed the dark haired boy's cheek in his palm. Bringing his face in Snake pressed his lips gently to Soren's, his facial hair tickling the teen's face as he clumsily kissed.

"Mmm…mmm!" Weakly the spell caster struggled out of the kiss, squirming around on his swiveling chair and trying to pull his face away. Cheeks bright red the boy finally shoved Snake away, the man almost falling backwards off of his stool.

"Sorry Soren, I just-" _Crack!_

Reeling from the embarrassment and surprise of the sudden kiss the little blackette instinctively brought his hand up, slapping Snake across the face hard enough to start his seat spinning. Hurriedly dismounting his stool the boy balled up his fists and stormed off, leering at anybody who had seen. Quite a few brawlers _had_ seen.

"_Ingrate!"_

Slowly spinning in circles at the bar, the brunette touched a hand to his stinging cheek, a bright hand shaped welt already poking up. Glancing to his right mid-orbit Snake looked at Marth and sighed.

"Hey guys."

"Hey…what was…that?" The bluenette asked, shocked. Sunk into the booth the two were sharing, Marth and Roy just stared, almost hypnotized, at Snake.

"A kiss."

! ! !

"Ike! Ike hey!" Pit yelled down the hall, jogging to catch up with his lover. Finally reaching the blue haired mercenary he grabbed the man's belt, pulling him closer.

"What's up with you Ike?" The cherub asked, knowing full well _exactly_ what was up.

"Oh…nothing, just didn't hear you was all." Ike replied wearily.

"You seem a little down, what's wrong?"

"How can you possibly always know how I feel?"

"Oh I'm just…good, I guess." The brunette chuckled nervously. _How indeed._

"Yeah, you are good."

"So what's wrong?"

"It's just…me and Link had a bit of an argument and I think I hurt his feelings." The mercenary sighed, pulling Pit into his arms and patting his head. _Great…my first lie. I never lied to him, ever. Not before now…_

"An argument over what?"

"Just um…just a disagreement, it's nothing, really. I just need to find him to apologize. He ditched me at breakfast, and I've been worried since."

"Well I ran into him earlier and he said the same, that you'd had an argument." _Wow, he feels terrible lying to me._ Pit observed, nuzzling his face into the man's chest._ I guess that's why he's never done it before._

"He said that? What else did he say?"Ike asked, wincing a little. _Please, Link, if you ever considered yourself my friend, please have lied!_

"That he thought you were mad at him. But it seems like you're not, are you?"

"Of course I'm not! The whole…fight, was my fault anyways."

"Well then crisis averted, right?"

"Yeah, I guess… crisis averted."

! ! !

"Peach this is not good…this is very not good." Zelda grumbled, slowly pacing about her office. Lighting a cigarette she perched the stick between her supple lips and lit it.

"Zelda I'm sorry, I just-"

"Screwed up?" The princess growled, taking a long, deep drag.

"Yeah…I'm sorry."

"Do you have any idea how many mansion rules…my god, I'm just doing the math now. You've broken more mansion rules than I can count on both hands!"

"I know Zelda, I know."

"Invasion of privacy, embezzlement, reckless endangerment, breaking and entering, lewd behavior, misuse of authority, sexual harassment. Should I go on?"

"No I get it…" Peach whimpered, bowing her head and tearing up a little.

"And I'm an accessory to plenty of it, by giving you that stupid camera."

"No! It's my fault, not yours Zelda. I'm the one who put it in Ike and Pit's room, not you! When you tell the hands, tell them it was me."

"I won't tell the hands, I still let you misuse property, that's negligence right off the bat." Again the brunette took a long puff of nicotine and tapped the ash out into her empty trash can.

"Oh man…it's my entire fault…"

"Listen, we're not telling the hands anything. Not about me, and not about you."

"So then what _do_ we do?" The blonde haired princess moaned, bewildered.

"We get the camera back. Then you're in the clear. Call it…a professional courtesy."

"You mean it Zelda! You really mean it!

"Yeah, you bet I mean it. Now tell me about Pit and Link."

"Well it was the craziest thing, not at _all _what I was expecting! Pit went into the room and laid down on the bed, naked-"

"Naked?"

"Butt naked!" The woman reiterated, blushing a bit. Her face flushing to match, Zelda went back to letting her colleague tell the story.

"Nice…"

"So anyways, he was naked on the bed and Link burst in, he was looking for something. So naturally he was really surprised, but then Pit just…started…coming onto him!"

"What do you mean? Like he was being flirty?"

"No, no I mean he hugged Link and kissed him, butt naked!"

"Wow, what did you do?" Zelda exclaimed.

"Nothing, what could I do?"

"True, so what happened next?"

Well…ummm…Pit, well…put his thing in Link's…mouth. And Link reciprocated the action…simultaneously so they were-"

"Peach I have no idea what you're saying."

"Okay damn…they were…they did a-" Peach's face turned an even deeper red as she tried to coax the words out of her mouth. "They were sixty-nining."

"Wow! And you have this all on film!"

"Well no, I never got a chance to link it to the router on my computer so…no video. The only reason I saw was because I was in the closet."

"Right, right."

"Also, we need to do something about that." Peach chuckled, motioning to the vent cover with her high heeled foot.

"A vent cover." Zelda sighed, narrowing her eyes at the hunk of metal and exhaling a cloud of smoke. "That's their vent cover, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is."

"Damn…well how long do you think it will take them to notice?"

! ! !

(The "has nothing to do with anything" obligatory lemon)

I mean I did make a promise-

Pushing Marth down onto the bed, Roy straddled his boyfriend waist and leaned down, kissing the bluenette clumsily on the lips. Moaning softly Marth wrapped his arms around his lover and took control of the kiss, gently wrestling Roy's soft tongue with his own.

"Mmm, Oh! Marth!" The redhead cooed, breaking off the kiss occasionally for air and to giggle softly.

Reaching up under Marth's shirt Roy eagerly caressed and groped the prince's smooth, toned torso. Earning a few tiny mewls from his boyfriend. Roy broke off the kiss and, sensing he had the upper hand shoved Marth off and shoved up his T-shirt, kissing the man's nipple.

"Ah! Roy! I thought you wanted me to be bott-"

"That was in the café, now that we're here in the room things are different!"

"_What's _different!" The bluenette exclaimed, blushing and sighing in pleasure as he felt Roy begin nipping and sucking the nipple. Soon the redhead's impatient hands were reaching down to relieve Marth of his pants.

"Does it matter?"

Sticking his tongue out at his boyfriend Roy licked down from the man's chest to his naval, swirling his tongue around that as his lover's pants slid down to his knees. Hooking his thumbs in the waistband of the boxers, the redhead made sure those were next to go, joining the bluenette's pants.

"I…I guess not."

"Good, because you're too cute like this, I'd rather cuff you to the bed than not have you." Blushing deep red at the comment, the prince looked away from the boy and submissively laid his arms above his head.

"Well maybe…I feel like putting up a little fight."

"Oooh, naughty, naughty Marth!" Roy chuckled, tossing all the man's garments off the bed and leaving him naked. "I'll have to cuff you up now!"

"Promise?"

"I'm a man of my word."

As if to prove just that the redhead immediately reached into the nightstand and produced some silk ropes. Seeing them the bluenette immediately feigned struggle and tried to bolt off the bed.

Grabbing the man, Roy Pinned the prince down and fastened a length of lush red rope to each of the man's wrists. Then pressing Marth's knee's to his chest Roy bound the prince's wrists to his ankles, leaving him fully exposed and helpless.

"R-Roy…"

"Yes my dear?" The redhead replied playfully, trailing his hands down his lover's smooth legs.

"You're still…you're not naked." The man whined, sighing at Roy's gentle touches.

"Oh? And why do I need to be naked? What kind of perverted things are _you_ suggesting?"

Sticking his tongue out the boy began unbuttoning his plaid shirt, leaning down and licking Marth's inner thighs as he did so.

"O-ohh!"

"I love when you stop being so proper." His face flushing at the comment the bluenette immediately tried his hardest to regain his composure.

"Don't tease me Roy…" Marth grumbled.

"Or else what?" Roy giggled, impatiently kicking off his jeans and, from lack of wearing undergarments, leaving himself fully nude.

"You're such a jerk."

"At least admit I'm a _cute_ jerk."

Sighing and giving the redhead a gentle smile Marth wiggled his backside as he felt his boyfriend grip his hips, getting into position.

"I admit nothing."

Leaning down, Roy gave his lover a steamy, passionate kiss, holding the prince's face close to his own. Lightly prodding at Marth's hole with the tip of his length, the redhead soon grew impatient and, breaking off the kiss, began sliding into the man.

"Marth! You're so…tight!"

"A-ahh!" Marth exclaimed, screwing his eyes shut and trembling as Roy's length entered him. "Its b-been a long time!"

Slipping every last inch of his manhood into his lover the redhead grabbed Marth's ankles for leverage and started thrusting slowly, not allowing the man even a moment to relax. Sighing in pleasure Roy looked down at his squirming boyfriend.

Trying uselessly to wiggle out of the ropes securing him into his humiliatingly exposed position Marth whimpered softly, enjoying the pleasure only Roy was able to give him.

"Roy!"

"Marth you look absolutely delicious like this!" Roy panted, keeping his gentle and loving pace up.

"Nhh! H-harder Roy! Please!" The bluenette pleaded, writhing and mewling in pleasure, his partner's gentle movements only teasing him.

"With pleasure!" Squeezing Marth's thighs tighter Roy began thrusting rougher and deeper, striking against the bluenette's prostate with every hard thrust.

Moaning deeper now, the prince's head flew back against the sheets. It was more than he could take. Shifting furiously back and forth the bound man let out uncontrollable whines of pleasure, panting.

"Ahhh! I can't take it, it's too good Roy!"

"No you don't Marth! No cumming!" Roy grunted, sliding out. Hastily flipping Marth onto his knees, the binding forcing his chest to the bed and his backside up into the air.

"I'm not done with you yet!" The redhead exclaimed, plowing back into his boyfriend and gripping his hips tightly.

"Uuuhh! N-not like that!"

Blushing in embarrassment the bluenette was too weak from the pleasure to even try to struggle. Submissively taking Roy's powerful thrusts all the price could do was buck limply and yelp in ecstasy.

"Almost! Yes, almost!"

"Kyaahh! I want you Roy! All of you!" Marth yipped, his backside red and his mouth hanging open. Panting and moaning the prince was lost completely to the heat of the moment and growing close to his own climax as well.

Feeling the familiar tingling of an orgasm building, Roy picked up his speed and collided harshly with the man's backside, panting and whimpering himself.

"O-ohhh! Cumming! _Cumming!_" Roy Groaned, burying his erection deep in his lover and unleashing a torrent of his seed.

Flexing his hands and wiggling around on the bed Marth yelped as he felt warmth filling his insides and started cumming all over the sheets himself, his eyes clamed shut.

"_Roy!_" The bluenette cried, his whole body shaking as he was hit by an unimaginably intense climax.

Having shared their joined moment of bliss, Roy slowly slid out of Marth and fell back onto the bed, sitting and panting in exhaustion. Looking at his lover he smirked to himself. The man was stuck with his rump high up in the air, steadily leaking hot cum.

Shivering with his face pressed to the bed, Marth's tongue hung out wearily as the afterglow of his orgasm caressed him. Peeking his eyes open the man face turned pink with shame.

"R-Roy I would…like to be…freed now."

"I don't know Marth, I'm thinking about snapping a few pics, actually." The redhead teased.

"No! No I want you to let me go!" The prince screamed, now thrashing about in the silk rope's grasp. Chuckling Roy crawled over and loosened the simple knots, cutting Marth loose.

"Only a joke."

Reaching up Marth immediately pulled Roy down and clung to his neck, tired and yearning for his lover's touch. Smiling gently Roy pulled the man close and wrapped his legs around the bluenette's own, intertwining their bodies.


	5. Chapter 5

When Life Gives You Lemons

Theme 5: Freudian Slip

Gay Sex

"Let's switch gears here for a second and talk about something new." Kirby offered, looking up from his clipboard at Soren who, for once, was actually being a well-behaved patient.

"Sure…like how?" The teen mumbled, staring up at the ceiling. Reclined back on the psychiatrists couch, he slowly twiddled his thumbs.

"Let's talk about your…love life."

"Sure."

"Any lovers in the past? I promise, this is all confidential, and strictly on the basis of what you feel comfortable sharing." With his little goatee and glassed, Kirby was still impossible to take seriously.

"I don't want to talk about it really."

"Why not? Because you're ashamed?"

"Maybe. I might be a little ashamed." Soren's guard against the blob was slowly breaking. After what had happened yesterday with Snake, he needed someone to talk to.

"Is it because you're a virgin?"

"No…I'm not a virgin…not exactly."

"What is 'not exactly'?"

"Ike's sister, Mist." The teen confessed.

"Okay, what did you two do?"

"Well…we got all the way to having sex, and I really tried but-"

"It didn't feel right?" The blob finished.

"Not at all. We had barely, well, 'started' when I told her I wanted to stop. I told her I thought I was gay and she just…she laughed." Soren paused, like he was remembering for the first time. "Not howling, more like just a giggling. It sounds dumb but I swear I wanted to cry right then and there I was so embarrassed."

"I'm sorry. Tell me, what happened after that Soren."

"Well I apologized and went to leave but she grabbed my neck. She pulled me down and held me there, and told me it was okay."

"Sounds like it all worked out."

"Maybe…"

"It scarred you a little?"

"Its tough, feeling that vulnerable and being laughed at." Soren covered his eyes with the back of one of his hands, closing his eyes.

"And to you if felt like you let her down?" The teen's eyes opened and he looked at the blob. There was a vulnerability there that nobody, not even Ike, had ever seen.

"I did let her down. It was her idea to go all the way. I wanted to make her happy, but…"

"You couldn't do it. So that's why you push everybody away now?"

"Maybe."

"No more maybes Soren, yes or no."

"Yes. I don't want to let anyone down."

"Soren…you need someone in your life. You have to be brave."

The normally logical Soren covered his face with his hands and let out a long, exasperated sigh. The boy had hit the wall, and there wasn't anything that would get him over it.

"I can't do it though."

"I'm sure if you just-"

"No you don't get it- I can't do it."

"I think you're improperly using the word _can't_ Soren, when what you really mean is won't, or maybe scared." The teen shook his head at this.

"No…no, I just can't do it." There was a long silence as Kirby took in this response. He looked up at the ceiling and laid down his clipboard, stroking his fake facial hair.

"Well then…where does that leave us?"

! ! !

Ike stormed across the hall and grabbed Snake by the collar of his shirt. Pressing the man against the wall Ike glared at him, his eyes livid slits.

"How _dare _take advantage of him like that!" Ike shook the fellow mercenary violently. Grabbing the man's wrists, Snake squeezed and pulled them away, gently forcing Ike back.

"Are you referring to Soren?" The man grunted as Ike rubbed his wrists.

"Yes, I _am!_"

"Look…I made a little mistake, alright?" Ike's eyes went wide. _Little mistake!_ The bluenette was quivering with rage.

"A _mistake!_ How _dare_ you!"

"How dare I what? Its not the end of the world!"

"You're an ingrate! I can't believe we were ever friends!"

"And you're a baby. Damn Ike as if you've never thought about doing it too!"

That did it, it sent Ike over the edge. He lunged at Snake again a swung his fist at the man. The swift brunette ducked and instead of the strike connecting with a softer, fleshier target, it struck solid concrete.

"Fuck! Oh fuck!" The wall cracked behind the force of Ike's strength, but not without cost. "Holy fuck I just broke my hand!"

Howling in pain the blue haired man crumpled up on the floor, rolling about and clutching his hand tight to his chest.

"Jesus…" Snake walked off, leaving him and grumbling to himself. "It was just a little kiss…"

The mercenary left Ike curled up in a ball on the floor, groaning in pain and cursing his own impulses. In hindsight the punch seemed very ill conceived.

! ! !

"Oh dear…" Pit sat up from where he was studying alone in the room. Setting down his tome he walked over to the closet and pulled out some khaki shorts. Sliding them on he calmly sifted through the drawers. He gave up on finding anything specific, and just grabbed a white tank top.

The boy threw on the shirt, its deep neck revealing almost all of his smooth chest. He grabbed his keys and his wallet off of the dresser and fastened on his watch. Giving the room a once over he left and locked the door.

The boy strolled down the hallway, passing a few brawlers and giving them all a polite greeting. Especially Peach, who gave him a particularly strange look. He simply giggled and shrugged it of. The day was stunning.

The air was warm and dry, as though a person could feel the sun in the very air around themselves. The clouds perfectly filtered the light and kept the heat modest- a high seventies, low eighties kind of day. The sunlight that dribbled through the windows of the hallways glistened on the marble floors, and crawled up the pillars. Stunning.

He turned the corner and say his boyfriend whimpering and shaking on the floor. _My goodness he can be a baby sometimes…_ The boy walked over and knelt down, rubbing Ike's shoulder.

"Tsk, tsk…what did we do?" Ike looked up at him, his pouting.

"That Snake…he's such a jerk."

"Oh is he?" Pit had been able to feel Ike's anger surging even from the room, he just hadn't known why. And of course he could feel the pain coming from the man's hand.

"Yeah…he molested Soren, then broke my hand." The bluenette sounded almost like a child. The angel had to chuckle a little as he pictured the man resorting to the word "poopyhead" next. "Its not funny Pit!"

"I know, I know." The boy giggled some more and lifted Ike so that he sat up. "How did he break it?"

"He ducked…"

Pit looked over at the cracks in the wall and sighed.

The cherub swung Ike's arm over his shoulder and, with a heave, climbed up to his feet. The man was so much bigger, so heavier. Once he was on his feet the mercenary trudged behind his lover as they made their way to the infirmary.

"We'll have doctor Mario take a look at it, alright?"

"Yeah, yeah…" He grumbled under his breath. The hand was already swelling and he couldn't clench it at all. "Next time I see Snake…he's dead."

"If you can even punch him."

"You're my boyfriend, you're supposed to support me!"

"I'm just telling you the truth Ike." Pit got on his tip toes and kissed the man. "Lets just see what the doctor says."

"Its broken, I just know its broken. I can feel how broken it is."

! ! !

As soon as Peach had seen Pit she was behind him, watching him from behind the corners he turned. She saw him meet up with Ike, who was on the floor. After watching him pick his boyfriend up and trudge off, she got on her phone and called up Zelda.

"Zelda, they've both left the room!" She hissed into the phone.

"What, now?" The princess replied.

"Yeah, and I heard them say something about 'infirmary,' I hope that Ike's okay, he-"

"But they're gone _now?_" Zelda was already rushing out the door, locking her office behind her.

"Yeah, they're gone…""Meet me at their room! Now!" Zelda grabbed her dress in both fists, holding it up so she wouldn't trip as she ran.

Still on the phone Peach strode towards their room. "Aren't you worried though?"

"Ugh, worried about what?"

"I mean Ike, do you think he's okay?" Peach said with a touch of concern.

"Look, who cares? He's a big boy, and you said he walked off right?"

"Yeah, I just hope he's not too hurt."

"He probably just ate something that was off." Zelda arrived at the room and waited outside, tapping her foot. "Where are you?"

Just as she asked Peach turned the corner and ran up to the woman. Still holding the phone to her cheek, she continued to talk into it.

"You're looking at me right now-" Zelda snatched up the woman's phone and hung it up, handing it back to Peach.

"Okay, I've got the key right here." The bruntette held up the key for Peach to see. The blonde nodded.

"And I've got the vent cover right…" Peach reached up into her dress and pulled out the massive metal grate. "Here." The woman held it up for Zelda to see.

"How…how the hell was that up there?" Zelda gasped, still gawking.

"No time for that, now take this screwdriver." The blonde reached down into her cleavage and pulled out a rather large Phillips head. Peach handed it to the brunette and took the key, unlocking the door. "Lets do this."

! ! !

Doctor Mario held the X-ray film up to the light and shook it out a few more times. He studied it for several moments then set it down on the counter by the sink and latex gloves.

"Well the good news is that it _isn't_ broken." Ike looked surprised.

"But, but I can feel it, it feels broken. I know that its-"

"Bruised, the bones are'a just bruised, that's all. It'sa gonna hurt, but you'll be fine in a few weeks."

"Well…okay." Ike grumbled, sitting up. "If you say so…"

Pit hugged Ike's good arm, giggling.

"Hey, that's a good thing!"

The man looked down and grumbled again. His hand hurt, and he was still mad. Most of all though, he was embarrassed. Snake had made a complete fool of him, and Soren. Ike just wanted to crawl under a rock.

"Thank you doctor." Pit smiled cheerily at Mario. The man removed his white lab coat and smiled.

"It'sa no trouble. Come back in a few days if it get'sa worse, okay?"

Pit helped Ike up off of the metal table and hugged his boyfriend around the waist. He thought he knew just what Ike needed to cheer up.

"C'mon Ike, lets get back to the room. You could use a little relaxation."

"Yeah, I guess you're right But what about-" Pit put his mouth to Ike's lips, shushing him.

"We'll worry about Snake later, okay?"

Ike nodded and the two left the doctor's office, trudging back to their room.

"Next time I see Snake, he's dead."

"What's all this about again?" Pit asked, cocking his head up.

"You didn't hear what Snake did to Soren?"

"No, not at all."

"I'll…" Ike sighed and ruffled Pit's hair. "I'll tell you later. For now just…get me home."

"Yeah, and then I'll make you forget all about this bad day."

"Oh?" Ike smiled a bit, looking down at the cherub. "And how will you do that?"

Pit gently pulled Ike's head down to his own level and whispered in the man's ear. Ike's face exploded into a blush and he gaped at Pit, who simply nodded.

"So then, shall we?" Pit giggled. Ike nodded and squeezed the boy's hand.

! ! !

"Listen, all I'm saying is that it was working five seconds ago before you started disconnecting things." Peach whined, tapping her foot as Zelda fought her way through a mountain of cords.

"Yeah but five seconds ago we weren't getting an internet connection."

"At least it was still on though. Why won't it turn back on?"

"I have no god damn _clue_ why it won't turn back on." Zelda was furiously rearranging, untangling, and fiddling with cords. Peaches home computer was a total mess.

"Well hurry up, what if something is already happening?"

"This isn't a television channel Peach! I'm sure Link isn't anywhere near their room right now. In fact, I think he has a match today…"

"Okay…well just be sure to- stop!" Peach screeched. Zelda immediately dropped everything she was doing.

"Stop?"

"Yeah, we just got a connection. So just…leave it alone."

Zelda carefully crawled out from behind the computer and joined Peach. She was right, the modem was finally on, and connected to the internet. Peach sat down and got started on setting up the connection.

"Alright, we should be connected now. Should I open up a window and see how it's looking?"

Zelda nodded.

"Yeah, I wasn't too sure about the angle I set it up on; the grate might be in the way."

Zelda opened up the window and the both stared at the screen. It was set up perfectly. The bed was right in the center of the cam, and the vent wasn't in the way at all. The small lens, on the end of a fiber optic hose, had snaked right between the grates.

"Wow…you got it perfect Zelda." Peach giggled. "Now we'll catch them in the act for sure, I'll just set it to record."

"Hey Peach, have you seen my sports bra anywhere? I was going to go to the gym and all my others are in the wash. I could have sworn I left it here that other- oh hey Zelda." Samus had wandered into the room, and approached the two. She flashed them both a friendly, confident smile.

Peach turned around, perking up and going to greet the woman. Zelda immediately moved so that she was standing in front of the monitor. It would be tough to explain what was on the screen, especially if Ike or Pit, or Link actually _did_ enter the room

"Samus!" Peach hugged the blonde around the neck. "You're sports bra? I don't know, I haven't seen it. Why do you think you might have taken it off here?"

"Remember the night that we both were drinking and watching Sex in the City?"

"Oh _yeah_! You probably took it off when you changed into that pair of PJs."

"That's what I'm thinking-"

"Samus!" Zelda interrupted harshly. The two blondes turned to her and the woman forced a smile. "Why don't we all go out and get some lunch or something, it's been so-"

"You're acting suspicious." Samus said, drawing closer to Zelda.

"What? Who's acting suspicious? I'm not." Zelda replied, her voice higher.

"No I know when you're hiding something Zelda, and you're hiding something."

Samus drew closer, looking the woman up and down. After a few moments, she grinned.

"What were you girls up to?"

Peach and Zelda both exploded into a dark blush.

"It was nothing like tha-" Peach stared before she was, of all things, interrupted by Ike's voice.

"Well…here we are…in the room." Zelda glared down at the computer's speakers furiously. They'd been had.

Now Pit's voice could be heard. "Oh don't be so shy." Then the noise of bedsprings bouncing, followed by the sounds of a heated 'encounter'.

"What the fuck is that?" Samus asked, looking around. "Where is that coming from?"

"Mmmhhh…oh Pit…so aggressive…" Samus tried to peek over Zelda's shoulders.

"Were you guys watching porn or something?"

"No, no Samus it's nothing like that!" Peach cried out. "We're doing a very important investigation for the sake of-"

"Yeah that's right Ike…I love it when you say my name." The three women could hear the sound of the man moan softly.

"Ahh please, be gentle…it's been a while." Ike whimpered.

"Don't worry Ike; we've got plenty of lube for that hole. Are you gonna be a good uke?" Pit said, giggling.

"Yeah, I am, I always-"

"What the _fuck_ are you guys watching!" Samus pushed Zelda aside and her mouth popped open as she saw what was on the screen.

"Oh wow…what _are_ you watching?"

! ! !

Ike felt Pit's hand gliding up his bare, firm torso and sighed. The angel was wearing nothing but his tight black shorts. He didn't even have to think before he answered the question.

"Yeah, I am, I always satisfy you, don't I?"

Pit nodded and leaned down, sucking one of the man's nipples. Ike whined in pleasure, hugging Pit's head to his chest.

"Ahhnn…that's good!" Ike raked his fingers through Pit's dark, messy hair and sighed. The boy's hands slowly worked lower, sneaking into the back of the man's pants.

"Now…tell me what you want." Pit demanded, his tiny, cute voice betraying his intentions. He was too cute to be intimidating, but Ike played along.

"I-I want you in me…please!"

The cherub smirked, cupping Ike's taut backside in his hands. He worked the cheeks and slowly eased down the man's pants and boxers. Ike was fully exposed to his lover now.

"How bad?" The boy nibbled on Ike's sensitive neck, slipping a finger into Ike and wiggling it. The man stiffed up and grunted.

"Hhhnnn…really bad…"

The angel found his lover's prostate and began prodding it, slipping in a second finger. Ike's eyes widened a little, but he relaxed around the fingers.

"Ike…you're so tight…are you sure?"

The man nodded, reaching up his bandaged hand and stroking Pit's cheek.

"Yeah…just be gentle." The boy nodded and pushed up Ike's legs sliding down his shorts. As soon as the tight undergarments released the boy's length it sprung out, excited and ready.

Ike eyed it lustfully; the boy was surprisingly large for his size. His length was as beautiful and perfect as any other part of him.

Pit stroked himself a few times and placed his tip against Ike's hole. The man took a deep breath and nodded to the angel. Pit fanned out his wings and slowly pressed into Ike, making the man whimper and groan.

"Oh it's so…good!"

"Does it hurt?" Pit asked, gently hilting himself inside his boyfriend. Ike shook his head.

"No…its fine." He wrapped his strong legs around Pit's waist and stared up at the boy. Pit leaned down and tenderly kissed Ike on the lips, then rose up the man's bandaged hand, kissing it as well.

"I'll take care of it Ike, just…relax." The boy curled his wings around the two, cocooning them inside of a fortress of warm feathers. Ike wrapped his arms around Pit's slender body and the boy began thrusting

Since the cherub didn't want to hurt Ike, he started out slowly, and tenderly. Sliding almost all the way out before slipping back in. The man moaned softly and whined. He wasn't used to the feeling; it was so rare the two did this.

"Oh Pit…I l-love it!" Ike nuzzled against one of his lover's wings, which was close to his face. Pit shivered and let out a tiny grunt.

"Ike…you feel so good inside!" The boy grabbed Ike's shoulders for support and started thrusting faster, panting. Pit's whole body was already hot and watching Ike squirm only fed his fire.

The man moaned as he felt the speed quicken, his large, thick length sandwiched between his abs and Pit's smooth belly. With every thrust he felt the friction on his erection and his prostate tease him, tempt him with what was to come.

"Oh Pit! I love you so much!" Ike's hands kneaded and caressed the angel's back. Pit nodded and leaned down, his face pressed to Ike's shoulder. He had picked up his pace and was now quickly bucking in and out of his lover.

"I l-love you too!" The boy moaned, his hot breath hitting Ike's neck. The feathers kept in all of the heat, and the two's bodies had grown sweaty.

Pit didn't have Ike's amazing stamina in bed, and already he could feel himself growing close. He gripped Ike's member in one of his tiny hands and began pumping it to speed his lover along. He wanted them to cum together.

"P-Pit! I'm so close!" The boy nodded and leaned down, his petal soft lips pressed to Ike's own.

"Together! Lets cum together!"

The two pressed their lips together into a passionate kiss, Pit's hips crashing into Ike's faster and faster. The man moaned into the kiss, hugging onto Pit for dear life. The boy kept thrusting until he felt Ike's hole tighten around him, and his thick cum spray between their two bodies.

The boy quit holding on and thrust his length in deep, filling Ike with his pure, warm seed. The two let out a combined, muffled moan as they came in unison, filling each other's mouths with the sounds of pure bliss.

They stayed that way for a while, calming down from the intense bout of sex. Pit's wings uncurled from around them and let in some cooler air. Ike laid flat on the sheets panting harshly. Still buried deep inside of his lover Pit laid against the man's chest, nuzzling it.

"Ike…that felt wonderful." The man nodded and drew his arms around the boy, his hurt hand resting on one of Pit's bare cheeks.

"Yeah…why don't we…do that more often again?"

The boy giggled and kissed one of Ike's firm, sweaty Pecs.

"I don't know, maybe we should."

The two laughed for a bit, snuggling against each other.

"Hey…maybe we should take a shower? We're all gross and sweaty." Ike offered. Pit nodded in agreement, sliding his length out. Ike's rear leaked the boy's seed out onto the sheets and he blushed.

"And then there's the cum too…" Pit giggled.

"Yeah, then there's that…"

Ike stood up and the two left for the bathroom.

"And make sure you change those bandages regularly like Mario sai-" Was the last thing the three women heard Pit say before the bathroom door closed behind them, shortly followed by the sound of running water.


End file.
